Reasons

These past couple weeks have been kind of hard. We have all had such stressful, strange schedules that we haven't seemed to have time to get the gym together. I have been using my recumbent bike as much as I can., but I will admit I haven't been too faithful at it.

A couple of weeks ago I made a list of the differences I felt after just one week of working out. I figured I should probably stick it on the blog! I am not exaggerating in any way when I say that things changed DRASTICALLY after just one week. Here's the list.

- I lost 2 pounds.
- My clothes fit looser.
- I had a tremendous amount of energy.
- I was satisfied with only 6-7 hours of sleep a night and didn't feel fatigued or sleepy during the day.
- I was more agile and limber after doing around 300 crunches each time we went.
- I didn't have the cravings for sweet treats that I usually get.
- I was able to easily stay in my calorie range each day.
- Things were better in the [ahem] bedroom.

Those are some major improvements to my life in such a small amount of time. Imagine if I went to the gym for a whole year! I would be a super woman! I am just grateful that I started going and have seen results so quickly. I know that the ultimate goal is weight loss, but honestly the energy boost is almost the best thing so far.

I need to kick it up a notch this week and keep all of these things in mind when I feel myself slipping up on my routine. I will keep you posted! I just got two of the Biggest Loser books and I think I will be posting some of the tips and info here for you all to benefit from!

The Year of Self-Discovery

I have been thinking a lot these past two weeks about what to make of this blog. Do I continue to only have it be about my husband and I's day to day life? Do I include weight-loss in it? Do I make a whole other blog for the weight/exercise area of my life? What to do...

I came to two conclusions. One is that I failed you all last year. I failed myself, also. I took this amazing 365 days of my life and wasted almost every one of them as far as being accountable for my actions weight-wise. I am ashamed to say that not only did I not lose the weight I wanted to last year, I put on almost 20 pounds.

It was a rough 365 days. I was DEPRESSED. I was anxious. I was self-conscious. I was hypocritical. I was in no way my best self. I let my feelings of self-loathing seep in to my marriage and create a small gap between my husband and I. I blamed him for the things that I wasn't doing to keep up with my house. I used my side business against him, using the 2 jobs as a way to make him do everything around the house. He never once complained...which I love him so much for! But I KNOW that I was WRONG to do that! I could go on and on, airing every piece of dirty laundry to you all, but I won't.

Instead, I will ask your forgiveness and ask you to simply keep reading.

 I want this year to be magical! I want to shine and I want to help you shine also! I want to remember who I am, why I am here, and prepare myself emotionally, physically and mentally for my next chapter of life! Parenthood! (No, this is not an announcement! But believe me...when the time comes to announce it you will know!) I want to make these changes with you there as a support system. God put us here on this earth for each other! We are supposed to help, encourage, and love. I want to be that for you, as much as I hope you will be that for me. 

My second conclusion is this...I want to have the blog be an entire synopses of my life. I want to post about all kinds of things: weight loss, feelings of inadequacy, exercise, recipes, religion, love, hope, family, and many, many other things.

I hope you keep reading.
I WILL keep posting.

Frogs and crickets.

Don't you just love it when people say they will be back and then don't post again for another month? 

This month has been intense.

My life has been full of learning (lots of it) and trying to combine the "single" happy I once knew with the "married" happy I need to be. I have read countless journal entries, searched books I love for highlighted passages, jotted down experiences daily, and tried to find my inner-light again. That little hub I know is inside of me, just waiting for me to expose it and break it free from the dreariness surrounding it. Things have tried to get in my way...but I have tried my best to shove them out, understanding that there is adversity in ALL things, especially when you are trying to find yourself.

All in all, I feel this month has been a success. 

In between my efforts to save my soul and relationships, I have been BOOKED solid with photo shoots. Working 40 hour weeks, having 10+ editing hours added on top of that, and making sure I have clean laundry and food on the table for my husband...well let's just say I'm a bit overwhelmed. I've found balance inside; now I just need to balance my world around me.

The thing that stands out most from the past few weeks is this:

It is worth it to let the dishes, laundry and work wait for the moments you know you will remember forever. 

Last night at dusk on an old dirt road in the town where my husband grew up, we stopped the car and listened to the frogs and crickets chirp. I felt immense gratitude for the things I have in my life..especially the LOVE of my life. I am grateful to be married to someone who wants take time to listen to the frogs and the crickets. In that moment, my little hub of light grew brighter.