The Year of Self-Discovery

I have been thinking a lot these past two weeks about what to make of this blog. Do I continue to only have it be about my husband and I's day to day life? Do I include weight-loss in it? Do I make a whole other blog for the weight/exercise area of my life? What to do...

I came to two conclusions. One is that I failed you all last year. I failed myself, also. I took this amazing 365 days of my life and wasted almost every one of them as far as being accountable for my actions weight-wise. I am ashamed to say that not only did I not lose the weight I wanted to last year, I put on almost 20 pounds.

It was a rough 365 days. I was DEPRESSED. I was anxious. I was self-conscious. I was hypocritical. I was in no way my best self. I let my feelings of self-loathing seep in to my marriage and create a small gap between my husband and I. I blamed him for the things that I wasn't doing to keep up with my house. I used my side business against him, using the 2 jobs as a way to make him do everything around the house. He never once complained...which I love him so much for! But I KNOW that I was WRONG to do that! I could go on and on, airing every piece of dirty laundry to you all, but I won't.

Instead, I will ask your forgiveness and ask you to simply keep reading.

 I want this year to be magical! I want to shine and I want to help you shine also! I want to remember who I am, why I am here, and prepare myself emotionally, physically and mentally for my next chapter of life! Parenthood! (No, this is not an announcement! But believe me...when the time comes to announce it you will know!) I want to make these changes with you there as a support system. God put us here on this earth for each other! We are supposed to help, encourage, and love. I want to be that for you, as much as I hope you will be that for me. 

My second conclusion is this...I want to have the blog be an entire synopses of my life. I want to post about all kinds of things: weight loss, feelings of inadequacy, exercise, recipes, religion, love, hope, family, and many, many other things.

I hope you keep reading.
I WILL keep posting.

The Magical Year of Change...

My sister and I, while eating at Cheesecake Factory one warm July evening right before my birthday, decided that this was going to be our year. She had just turned 42, and I was about to turn 24. It was a magical thing. We decided this would be the year that we would conquer our fears, put bad habits to rest, and make our lives beautiful.

That was 6 months ago, and I can't say that I have lived up to my end of the deal.

There are so many things I want to be able to do in my life. I want to cook more. I want to photograph my life, and keep memories and people alive. (Not just the memories of my clients.) I want to become a more kind, gracious being as I begin my journey into womanhood. I want to turn 25 and be happy with where I am in the world.

I love to write. I have always known I would write a book at some point in my life, and I have always kept a very detailed journal since I could pick up a pen. However, the past few years have been full of disappointment, illness and stress. In the midst of the commotion, I put my pen down and opted to only write when professors demanded it.

That is changing now. I will blog. I vow to do this at least 3 times a week.

It will be full of inspiration, hope, disappointment, fear, laughter and love.

A book can wait. For now, blogging will have to do.