Starting Weight: 256
Current Weight: 253
Total Loss: 3 lbs
First of all, I lost 2 pounds this week. I am pretty happy with that, but I will admit most of it is because I was sick so I didn't eat much. Let me tell you, my hunger has come back with a vengeance! It's like I can't get enough food.. and I don't like it.
Second of all, I have realized something horrible about myself that I must get under control: I am a sneak eater. I will sneak food because I don't want anyone to judge me for it...but it isn't healthy food, and it isn't healthy for me to feel that I need to do that in the first place. Some examples of this unhealthy behavior are: stopping at McDonald's on the way home and eating it in the parking lot, opening a bag of chocolate chips and eating small handfuls throughout the day while hiding the bag in the cupboard so Eli won't see, baking for my "co-workers" but eating half the batch before I take them, buying a box of hostess and eating half of it on my lunch break in the car and throwing the rest away so Eli won't see....notice a pattern? It's always eating unhealthy things and sneaking them so my husband won't find out...but let me tell you, the scale doesn't keep my secret.
I am sure some of you are reading this and thinking that I am a disgusting person...but I am also sure that some of you are feeling relieved, because you secretly do this too. I don't think it is as uncommon as we may believe for people to feel like they want to indulge in private...if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, does it really make a sound? Same concept goes for this situation...if no one sees me eat it, did I really indulge?
Long story short...I want to get rid of his behavior...it is not healthy mentally or physically. I have once again been reading up on my trusty WW blogging community, and I have found a success story that I can really relate too. A woman started WW with this same addiction, and overcame it by stopping and thinking why she wanted to indulge every time the urge came to sneak. She found that it helped her address emotional issues in her life, while improving her results on the scale.
My goal for this week is to do just that, stop in my tracks and really think through what is causing me to want to eat those chips at 2 am while Eli is asleep. I hope I can come back next week with some positive feedback.
I love that this blog is becoming so much more than a weight tracker. I need an outlet, and I'm glad you all stop in to listen. :)
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6 comments:
I absolutely do that. I often think of what my coworkers would think if they saw what I ate, so I'll eat it in the car or outside instead. I've made that same McDonald's run, too. You are NOT disgusting, just human. And so inspiring for sharing this secret with the world. Good for you. And three pounds?! That's three of those big bags of M&Ms! Think about THAT!
Rebecca (hearts)...
I do this so much too, but it isn't really junk food it is my Pepsi. I think my problem stems from when I was younger and my mom would always get on my case for drinking soda and so I would hide it. I would drink it at school or at work and hide it in my backpack or later my car. What you do lots of people do. Something that may also help is keeping track of what you eat so if you eat 10 m&ms write it down in a book or find a free online forum for it. Look at it at the end of the week and try to cut down the amount. Little by Little it helps. Go you for keeping track with it.
Katie,
Good for you to make that change! I am working on my weight too, so I can relate. I suggest tracking every last thing you eat at Fitday.com or Sparkpeople.com. I have been doing that so I can keep a calorie deficit and it helps me to stop and think about what I am eating because I have to record it. Good luck!
Katie you inspire me with every post.
you are doing a great job you relize that there is more to weight gain than just eating the food and so many people dont make those connections. even if you feel you are starting out slow your progress will be so much more rewarding because you are figuring out the underlying causes. i love reading your posts while i am waiting to start up my weight loss journey and you help me stay positive thank you for your honesty :)
I'm not alone?! I just get so embarrassed eating in front of people cause I think they are curious to see what makes me so fat. :( So it's getting to be I don't even like going out to dinner with my hubby anymore. I didn't know you were dieting. I know I need to start.... again... it's just finding that dang will power is so hard! Good luck with your journey, hopefully I can start mine again soon.
Brein, I know exactly what you mean! I feel the sane way when we go out. If you ever need a buddy, I will be here. :)
Thanks to everyone for all of your support...it makes me so happy to know I have a mini support group here. Love you guys!
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