Sick.

After calling in to work on Thursday I calculated in my mind how many times I had been sick in the past six months. 6 times. That's once a month. It's ridiculous. Lately I have felt like as soon as I get over a bout of the flu or a cold, I am sick again.

This 3-day hiatus I have taken from work has not just been about getting better physically. I have taken several hours over the past few days to look at the Weight Watchers website and I have found many success stories that show proof of constant illness as being a result of obesity. It has opened my eyes to the many ways in which this weight is affecting in my life.

I am sick of the guilt that results in my calling in and leaving work early.I am sick of the headaches and body-aches and stuffy noses and mucus and, well, you name it, that are coming from my body not being in a healthy place.

I am sick of the depression and anxiety I feel, and the worry I have that is constantly affecting my daily living, not to mention my marriage. If I were Eli, I wouldn't want to deal with my ups and downs and constant need of reassurance. I know all of these things are physical and mental attributes of being over weight and feeling very insecure. Even though I caught the guy, it doesn't mean he has to stick around.

I feel that I put on a pretty good show, but in all honesty, I am pretty down inside. I love myself, but I sure don't like myself much.

I am sure I will be ridiculed and questioned a million times upon return to Wally World, but the truth is, I needed to take this time to get some things together so that I can steadily work toward a better me. A happier and healthier me, both physically and mentally.

Life is meant to be enjoyed...especially this time of life!
I'm a newly-wed for crying out loud! :)

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Starting weight: 256
Current weight: 255
Total lost: 1 lb

Here I am, a week later and a pound lighter!

I know some of you may be thinking, "one pound..that's all?"

Honestly though, one pound is pretty good considering I have had a hard time adjusting this week.

I started with Teresa on Thursday and we got our accounts set up. I went grocery shopping that night and bought all kinds of yummy healthy food like Oroweat sandwich thins, Kashi GoLean Cereal, fruits, veggies, salad, low-fat cheese and lunch meat, and other healthy treats to help me when I need a snack at night. (My new favorite thing is 94% fat free kettle corn!)

I will say that I stayed on plan about half of the time this week, but I did order pizza with Eli twice, and we went out for Mexican once during that time. I don't know why I am having a little bit of a harder time getting motivated this week, but I am attributing some of it to the gloomy January blues. January makes me all dark and twisty inside, and I long to stay wrapped up in my warm bed all day. This also makes me want to eat continually.

I am going to start doing a workout video that helped me lat year when I was all gung-ho about losing. It's called "Leslie Sansone's Walk Firm and Fast 4 Mile workout," (costs about $9.00 at your local Walmart Super-center.) There are 3 miles that you can walk, with a warm up mile, a fast paced mile, and a mile that includes strength training. The entire video is about 65 minutes long, but you can stop at any time and skip straight to the cool down. I like it because she incorporates various aerobic moves while you are walking so you can tone up at the same time. I plan on beginning that DVD tomorrow, and we will see if that helps at all.

All in all, I am still excited about this journey and I plan to do it wisely...I don't want to lose all of the weight quickly and have it come right back on if I ever cheat or have a bad spell.

I hope you are all still reading and continue to do so...I am loving the posts I write because not only am I weighing in to Teresa, I'm weighing in to the world!

New Journey.

It has been almost 2 full years since I have posted anything. I cannot believe how much my life has changed in the past 20 months. I met and married my best friend Eli Smith, and I have started a wonderful life with him.

I am happy in every aspect of my life, except one. As many of you know I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I have yo-yo'd from sizes 10-20 throughout the past 10 years. I am a very happy person, full of love and laughter, but this part of me, this negativity, has to come to an end.

My mother-in-law Teresa and I are joining Weight Watchers tomorrow and beginning our road to healthier lifestyles. I am going to update this blog weekly to help stay focused throughout my personal journey. Feel free to join me, or to watch as my life transforms throughout the next year.

The beat part of all is that my husband loves me so much the way that I am. He doesn't care if I weigh 95 lbs, or 399 lbs. This is a goal I have set for myself, so that as I begin to prepare to start a family, I can be in a healthier position to carry and take care of a child. I feel that because I am being supprted, and not pushed into this decision, that I will be able to stay focused on my goal and steadily work toward it.

I am ready to make the commitment to live and be healthier.

Here is my "before" picture. I am currently in a size 20, and weigh 256 pounds.
I am not afraid to share this with the world, it's only down hill from here. :)



I will update each Thursday as I weigh in to track my progress as I go, and I will post a picture after every 10 pounds I lose.

See you next week!